a fairy tale of sorts
by shouri-chan
Summary: Gohan brushed off the script and read “Vegeta the not so ugly um…. duckling”... ' plz R+R it's worth it!*Compleated*
1. once upon a time....

Ok I'm taking a break from the survival course story cuz this one just came to me and it was so funny I had to write it for you all!!!! Plz read and enjoy!!!!  
  
Oh and the characters might be a little OOC at times but it is funny so I'll stop and let you read in peace.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ no matter how much I want to!!!  
  
  
  
The DBZ team was gathered in a small room somewhere in capsule corp. Gohan brushed off the script and read "Vegeta the not so ugly um…. duckling"  
  
"But Veggie's not a duck???"  
  
"I know that dad. But I don't know what's going on?? Will you start already oh great narrator???"  
  
GRRRR I won't be ordered around by one of Kakkarot's brats!!  
  
"Vegeta??? You're the narrator??"  
  
NO you have the script! Therefore kami has given YOU the narration JOB!  
  
"WHAT??"  
  
Haha brat! I can't be the narrator and the main character! Heck! I won't even be the main character if it wasn't for the Onna.  
  
"Why not??"  
  
Cuz it's impossible for me to play both!! I thought you were the one that went to school???  
  
"Jeez!! Ok fine!"  
  
"Well brat??"  
  
What's up now Vegeta??  
  
"You wanna start the story or do I have to come over and blast you??"  
  
I'm starting it! I'm starting it!! Once upon a time there was…… hey where'd Vegeta go???  
  
"I'm right here! So hurry up!!!"  
  
Right where???  
  
"In here brat!!"  
  
Your kidding right??  
  
"NO! I'm supposed to be a duckling right???"  
  
Right.  
  
"And where do ducklings come from???"  
  
Big ducks??  
  
"GRRRR are you sure you ever went to school??? Brat!!???"  
  
Okay. Okay. Calm down Vegeta. They come from eggs happy??  
  
"GRRRR"  
  
Hehe wrong question for you.  
  
Will you quit your babbling and get on with it already!!! It's a little cramped in this thing!!!"  
  
Sorry Vegeta. Now where was I ??  
  
"About to die?!"  
  
Come on now Vegeta, you can't kill me.  
  
" Give me one reason why not???"  
  
I'm the all-powerful narrator and if you kill me, which you can't, you'll be stuck in that egg!!  
  
"Dam brat!! Fine just get on with it!!"  
  
Ok. Once upon a time there was a big mother duck.  
  
"I have come to sit on my eggs."  
  
Hahahahahahaha Pic…Piccolo hehehehehehehe who made you the mother duck????  
  
"I'm not the mother duck!"  
  
Well Em….. your covered in feathers, you said you're gonna sit on your eggs and……Hahaha your wearing a pink bonnet!!!!!  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Em…hehe okay what DO think you are???  
  
"I'm the substitute mother duck. ChiChi refused to wear feathers and she can be quite convincing at times."  
  
Hahaha you mean you had a run in with the almighty frying pan, before getting conned into this??  
  
" Well…yeah"  
  
Hehe okay so there was a SUBSTITUTE mother duck. She walked over to the nest and sat down.  
  
"AHH get off you Namekian lump!!!"  
  
Piccolo I think you should lower you power level.  
  
"Fine! * Reading from script* I hope these eggs will hatch soon."  
  
She waited ……and waited ……and waited for the eggs to hatch.  
  
"Perhaps this will help??"  
  
The substitute mother duck then proceeded to fire a …….NO wait piccolo don't!!!  
  
"What??"  
  
You can't blast the eggs!!  
  
"Huh? I was just going to warm them so they would hatch?"  
  
Oookkkaayy…so the substitute mother duck then proceeded to warm the eggs using a ki blast.  
  
"Dam Namek stop already!!! These shell's don't provide a lot of heat resistance!!"  
  
  
  
Crack   
  
Krillen??  
  
"Hey Gohan"  
  
Hehe like the hair do!  
  
"Leave my feathers alone!"  
  
Crack   
  
"Huh??"  
  
Over here dad!  
  
"Gohan?? Err… what's going on???"  
  
Crack   
  
Bulma???  
  
"Hey! That's Bulma the duckling!"  
  
Em… yeah I think your taking this a little too seriously…  
  
Crack   
  
"O_o Bulma you look mmmmmmm gggoooodddd!!"  
  
"Why that dirty…..!!!!"  
  
Vegeta calm down!. And which idiot let master Roshi on the set???  
  
"Hehehe"  
  
Krillen?!  
  
"Oops"  
  
Crack   
  
"Hey what am I doing in this???"  
  
North Kai??? Shouldn't you be in other world??  
  
" Yeah! Oh well I don't mind a day off!"  
  
Join the party.  
  
Crack   
  
…??  
  
Dud egg…  
  
Crack Crack   
  
Twins??  
  
"Mwhahaha!!"  
  
Freeza!?? Cooler!?? Where do they get these ppl?? Are we running out of actors?? And who in their right mind would cast these creatures???  
  
*shakes head * never mind back to the script. The substitute mother duck looked her babies over one by one. Each one was yellowier and fluffier than the last. Finally the last egg cracked open.  
  
"at last!! I've only been stuck in that thing for hours!!"  
  
"Vegeta get some clothes on!!!"  
  
"Grrr this is a children's story Onna so tell them I have clothes on!!"  
  
Trust me he DOES have clothes on! *Shudder*  
  
"But he doesn't???"  
  
Fine dad! He's wearing a….  
  
"Don't say it!!!"  
  
A…..  
  
"I'll only warn you once!!"  
  
A….. Grey/brown duck outfit!!!! Hehehehee OWCH hey Vegeta!!!  
  
"I did warn you!"  
  
Anyway… the last duckling was a large and clumsy and a dirty grey colour.  
  
"Hey!!!"  
  
What now??? *Dodges ki blast* wow!! Vegeta calm down!! I only read what it said!  
  
"Give me that! * The last duckling was large and clums…. Dam brat!*"  
  
Well??  
  
"What??"  
  
I need the script back.  
  
"Here!"  
  
Thx. As I was going to say, the substitute mother duck thought….  
  
" How big and ugly he is! I wonder if he's a turkey chick?"  
  
"Come over here and say that Namek!!"  
  
Vegeta! He's only reading his lines!!! *Reading from script* But she loved him just the same. *Looks up* Hey no sparring this is suppose to be a loving scene not one of mayhem and violence!!  
  
" I refuse to say THAT! Line"  
  
Piccolo please??  
  
"no never!!"  
  
I'll just have to call mum and tell her. She'll be ssoo angry that I had to phone….  
  
" Fine! You defiantly have your mothers traits!"  
  
Thx piccolo  
  
"*Sighs reading from script* but I love you anyway Vegeta."  
  
See that wasn't so bad?  
  
"DIE Namek!!!!"  
  
Err… I'll hurry this bit before someone gets killed.  
  
Anyway next day the substitute mother duck lead her babies to the pond. The ugly duckling swam as well as the rest of them so he couldn't be a turkey chick. Well except for ducklings Freeza and Cooler, who sank…  
  
"I will be back….."  
  
"No one can defeat me!!!…."  
  
Bye guys! Hehe  
  
"Gohan!!"  
  
yes??  
  
"That wasn't in the script!!"  
  
I know but I couldn't resist! I'm starting to like this all powerful narrator thing.  
  
*****************************************  
  
Next time…..  
  
Will narrator Gohan kill the rest of the ducklings?????  
  
Will piccolo ever catch a break??  
  
Will the author ever finish a story????  
  
You can find out next time if you R+R!!!!  
  
(R+R means Read and Review!!! The little blueish button that says (review) thx!!)  
  
Veggieluver 


	2. now what

YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!1 this story finally got a review!!!!!! And I thought no one would read it!!!! Thx trunks fan!!!!  
  
So back to the story.......  
  
A little reminder  
  
"Gohan!!"  
  
yes??  
  
"That wasn't in the script!!"  
  
I know but I couldn't resist! I'm starting to like this all powerful narrator thing.  
  
**************************************  
  
"er Gohan, you sure your ok???"  
  
yeah Bulma I'm fine. And don't worry I'll be leaving the other ducklings alone.. mutters maybe.  
  
"Brat!!!"  
  
geez Vegeta I was only kidding.  
  
"Could we just get on with the story Gohan?"  
  
sure Krillen. Where were we... oh yeah.The next day, the proud substitute mother duck took her babies home to the farmyard for the first time.  
  
*piccolo reading from script* "come children. I will take you to the farmyard to show the other animals how wonderful you are."  
  
"yes mother"  
  
the other birds teased the poor duckling. Soon even his own brothers and sisters called him "Ugly" and wouldn't...spar?? with him?? Hey who changed the script???  
  
"Sayajin's don't "play"!"  
  
fine. They called him "ugly and wouldn't spar with him.  
  
"Ewwww..get away from me!! Your too ugly!"  
  
"Onna?? Now what'd I do!! Dam woman!!"  
  
Vegeta she's only acting!  
  
"so this is your fault brat!"  
  
No No it's not real! She doesn't really think your ugly.  
  
"Humph!"  
  
Now back to the script. *Reading* as the days passed, the duckling grew more ugly.  
  
"I'm so handsome!"  
  
Vegeta!!  
  
"Grrr fine *reading from script this time* I'm so ugly"  
  
and the teasing grew worse and worse.  
  
"why did I have to do this kakarott would have been better in this role!"  
  
just because! Now will you quit moaning for a minute and read the line.  
  
"No I refuse to be ordered around by you brat!"  
  
Bulma!!!! Help!!!!  
  
"Vegeta!! Read the dam line!!"  
  
"or what?!"  
  
"Or I'll not feed you for 6 months!"  
  
"I'd count that as a blessing"  
  
"and I'll shut down your precious Gravity Room!!!"  
  
"Shit! Dam Onna *reading* Everyone hates me!"  
  
finally he decided to run away.  
  
"I'll go find someplace where everyone is as handsome as me!"  
  
oh come on now Vegeta just read the lines right?  
  
mumble mumble revenge mumble "I'll go find someplace where everone is as ugly as me."  
  
Better. The duckling wandered through the fields until he came to a swamp where the wild geese lived.  
  
"I won't!!!"  
  
Say it!!  
  
"No!"  
  
SAY IT!  
  
"*Sarcastically* whoo hoo! Maybe they won't think I'm ugly!"  
  
but before the ugly duckling could speak to the geese a dog came by and chased them away.  
  
"COME BACK!!"  
  
there see now your getting it Vegeta!  
  
" no I just wanted to show them how weak that dog really is!"  
  
er...Vegeta you don't have your saiyajin strength in this story.  
  
"WHAT!"  
  
You might wanna run.  
  
"You just had to make the dog a monster didn't you brat!"  
  
Hehe yep! (Insert son grin here!) now as I was saying,..A s soon as he was sure the dogs were gone, the lonely LITTLE..  
  
"I'm not little I'm of royal blood!!!"  
  
I'll repeat that sentence.  
  
"just try it!!"  
  
ok..uh hum...A s soon as he was sure the dogs were gone, the lonely LITTLE duckling set off again, looking for company.  
  
"final flash!!"  
  
hehehe I all ready told you, you can't use your attacks in this story.  
  
"how come the Namek can use ki blasts?!!"  
  
well I let him cause he's not gonna try and KILL me with them!!  
  
"ok so where am I supposed to go now?? I'm still in this stinking swamp!!!"  
  
I don't know. Look around.  
  
"oh! Great help you are!! Whats that??"  
  
looks like a hut.  
  
" I know what it looks like brat!! I wanna know if I should go in!!!"  
  
what are you asking me for?? It's as good a place as any.  
  
  
  
*************************  
  
what'll await our prince inside???  
  
What'll Gohan do to veggie next???  
  
Gohan-chan: hehe I know!!!  
  
Shush don't tell them yet!!! And you should be with the other story!!!  
  
Gohan-chan: oh don't worry about that!! Dad's looking after it...dam  
  
You said it!!! Bye ppl I gotta a story to save....  
  
Gohan-chan: don't forget to R+R!!!!! plz???? 


	3. vegeta and the ice

Yay more reviews!!! Wow u guys like it!!  
  
Disclaimer: no I still don't own it!!!  
  
Recap:  
  
I don't know. Look around.  
  
"oh! Great help you are!! Whats that??"  
  
looks like a hut.  
  
" I know what it looks like brat!! I wanna know if I should go in!!!"  
  
what are you asking me for?? It's as good a place as any.  
  
********************************  
  
"*mumbles* stupid brat"  
  
*knocks on door*  
  
At last he came to a hut where a little old woman lived with her prized..dinosaur? shouldn't it be cat? oh well. where she lived with her prized dinosaur and her little hen.  
  
"why hello there."  
  
??? Dad??? You're the little old woman??  
  
"oh hi Gohan!! Yer like the dress? Chichi made it *Whispers* say you like it, I don't want her to get upset."  
  
ER..sure dad that's a wonderful.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHA kakarott in a dress!!"  
  
"AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY DRESS!!!!!"  
  
hey mum calm down! And someone get her off the set!!!  
  
*hears loud swearing as chichi is removed*  
  
now where were we? Oh yer..the little old woman lead the poor little duckling into her house.  
  
"would you like to come in veggie??" "humph! Is there something you want to tell us brat?"  
  
er.like wot?  
  
"like why all the female roles are played by guys?"  
  
oh.that..hehe (insert Son grin) it's just Piccolo and dad play the parts so well..  
  
"whatever!"  
  
anyway... but the dino and hen were mean to the duckling.  
  
"hey I'm not a toy!"  
  
"come on Goten lets have some fun!"  
  
"Brats! You wait till we've finished this!!"  
  
Trunks!! Goten!! Don't forget this isn't permanent! Don't over do it..  
  
*reading from script* Besides he was a wild bird, and although the hut was warm and dry he longed to be out on the water.  
  
"Trunks! Ready catch!  
  
Goten stop throwing Vegeta!! He looks kinda sick?  
  
"awww"  
  
"what's going on? *vegeta throws up* Ewwww *on goku*"  
  
"EWWWW DAD/MR VEGETA!"  
  
I told you.. *script* so one fall day he ran.er *looks at vegeta trying to run* .wandered quickly away to find a lake.  
  
"I'm outta here!"  
  
and find one he did. He was happier on his lake, though the wild ducks there would not speak to him.  
  
"who needs them!! I'll swim by myself"  
  
you call that swimming???  
  
"who asked you brat!"  
  
getting a little testy, are we??  
  
"GRrrr fine I'll just sit on the side!!"  
  
hey does this lake remind you of anything??  
  
"huh?? What are you on about brat?  
  
Oh nothing it's just that the edge of the lake looks a lot like shenron.  
  
"Riiigghhtt???"  
  
ANYWAY.one day a flock of beautiful birds flew by. The sight of them made the ugly duckling cry.sniffle.. look sad?? Though he did not know why.  
  
"I feel so sad!"  
  
Well there was sarcasm if ever I saw it!  
  
"HUMPH"  
  
soon after wards the wild ducks flew off..hey why don't you go with them?  
  
" The onna's one of them and chichi's the other. I don't think they would talk to me anyway, unless it was to yell at me. And I don't fancy having an earache."  
  
Okay have it your way. *script* it grew so cold that the duckling awoke to find his feet frozen in a sheet of ice.  
  
"BRAT!!!!"  
  
hehehe It's in the script...see. his feet frozen in a sheet of ice.  
  
******************  
  
What's Gohan up to??  
  
How's vegeta gonna get out of this??  
  
Review and I'll tell you!!!! Vegeta_Luver 


	4. poor veggie!

6!!! I have 6 reviews!!! Not as good as my other fic but still, I have 6!!!!! Yay!!  
  
Disclaimer: no nothings changed form the other chapters, it's still not mine!!  
  
Recap time!!:  
  
Soon after wards the wild ducks flew off.Hey why don't you go with them?  
  
" The onna's one of them and Chichi's the other. I don't think they would talk to me anyway, unless it was to yell at me. And I don't fancy having an earache."  
  
Okay have it your way. *Script* it grew so cold that the duckling awoke to find his feet frozen in a sheet of ice.  
  
"BRAT!!!!"  
  
hehehe It's in the script...see. His feet frozen in a sheet of ice.  
  
*****************  
  
"GRRRRR Brat! Get me out of this stupid lake!!"  
  
Hehehehehe..  
  
"BRAT!!!"  
  
well ok since I'm such a nice guy, I'll help u out.  
  
"*Mumble* if it weren't for the dam onna I would be doing this or have my ki blasting taken away."  
  
What was that??  
  
"Nothing just hurry it up!"  
  
Jeez ok.*script* Luckily, a farmer found the duckling there and freed him from the ice.  
  
"I'm back!"  
  
Krillen?? Weren't u a duck??  
  
"Yer but they wouldn't let chichi back on set because of her still wanting to kill Vegeta. No one insults her dress's and survives."  
  
"It was a stupid looking balloon!"  
  
*Muffled* " I heard that!!!"  
  
HEHE.. lets keep to the story shall we..ssoo the farmer freed the duckling from the ice. "you'll make a nice meal for my family"  
  
"WHAT!!"  
  
Krillen, it's supposed to be pet! Not meal!  
  
"Awww. Alright, *script, no really this time!* hey you'll make a nice pet for my children."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
What is it Vegeta?  
  
"I'm not going if the 'children' are my brat and the harpy's brat#2!!"  
  
They're not so don't worry, and they're very well behaved. (Insert innocent grin)  
  
"Humph"  
  
The kind man took the duckling home.  
  
"Maybe this won't be so bad."  
  
Hehe *Snickers* But when the farmer set the ducking down in his kitchen, the noisy children frightens the bird, and he ran around the room.  
  
"Not a chance!"  
  
Come on Vegeta!  
  
"No way am I doing that!"  
  
Fine we'll pretend then..  
  
"Good! Anyway I though you said they were well behaved?"  
  
Oh well.no ones perfect. The poor duckling made such a mess that the farmers wife chased him out the kitchen door waving his...er her.  
  
"Broom."  
  
Looks like a metal pole to me..  
  
"Well it's not like a broom would do much good with him! Is it?"  
  
I suppose your right Dende... Anyway..  
  
"Why you dam namekian brat!!"  
  
"Why *thump* don't *thump* you *wham* try leaving *wallop!!*"  
  
"That's it I'm going!!"  
  
****************************************  
  
Another chapter done!! Woo hoo!!!  
  
Anyway I think the next one should be the last so watch out for it!!  
  
Vegeta luver 


	5. the end

Yay I finished it!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for your reviews!!!! Now back to the story!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Oh well. no ones perfect. The poor duckling made such a mess that the farmers wife chased him out the kitchen door waving his...err her.  
  
"Broom."  
  
Looks like a metal pole to me..  
  
"Well it's not like a broom would do much good with him! Is it?"  
  
I suppose your right Dende... Anyway..  
  
"Why you dam namekian brat!!"  
  
"Why *thump* don't *thump* you *wham* try leaving *wallop!!*"  
  
"That's it I'm going!!"  
  
************* And so the ugly duckling marched out of the house.  
  
"Bye veggie!"  
  
"Humph!"  
  
Hehe. the frightened duckling didn't run very far as it was cold and dark outside.  
  
"If you gave me my power back I could turn up the heat!! Dam brat it's cold out here!!"  
  
Here, put these on.  
  
"What are they??"  
  
Snow boots. Couldn't have you getting frozen again this late in the story! Now as I was saying.. the frighten duckling found a hiding place and made a nest for himself. Vegeta? What ARE you doing??  
  
"I'm making a nest what does it look like!!"  
  
A mess??  
  
"GRRR. Just wait!"  
  
LOL...*script* and he spent the whole winter trying to keep warm, he only came out to search for food. It was the longest lo.  
  
*Burble burble*  
  
What is that?  
  
"My stomach! I haven't eaten since this lousy story started!!"  
  
Hehehe anyway.. It was the longest, loneliest winter you could imagine.  
  
"I'm so hungry, I hope this story ends soon, so I don't have to eat anymore of the onna's cooking"  
  
"HEY I HEARD THAT!!!!"  
  
*Vegeta SLIGHTLY shudders*  
  
OK-AY. anyway what are you doing eating human food your suppose to be a duck!! And they eat bugs.  
  
"It's winter! There are no bugs"  
  
Hmmm ok, ok fine just don't insult Bulma again or she might do something harsh.  
  
"*Mumble revenge soon mumble*"  
  
Uh huh?! Finally spring came and the duckling stretched his neck and flew to his little lake.  
  
"Well what am I suppose to do here??"  
  
Try swimming again?  
  
"How about err. NO"  
  
Suit yourself. As the duckling approached the lake.. A giant fish leapt out and swallowed him whole!!  
  
"BRAT!!!"  
  
Hehehe well will you try swimming now???  
  
"Fine!"  
  
As the duckling approached the lake he spotted a couple of swans near the other side. He climbed into the lake but lowered his head as he was ashamed of his ugliness...VEGETA will you just look down!!!  
  
"jeez I think the brat needs his medication, it looks like he's gonna flip."  
  
LOOK DOWN  
  
"fine, see I'm looking!"  
  
GOOD.*breath.Breath* Ahem.just as the lonely bird looked down he saw that he wasn't ugly, in fact. I can't believe I have to say this..  
  
"lost for words brat? Hehe"  
  
No! *script* in fact he was the most beautiful swan of all! The two swans from across the lake swam over to meet him. You see it doesn't matter if you're born into a duck's nest if you really come from a ducks egg.  
  
"hey onna"  
  
"Humph what did you say about my cooking?!!!"  
  
"Errr..onna."  
  
"And my dress!!!"  
  
HEHE I think we can call that a happy ending.  
  
  
  
YAY it's done it's done!!!! R and R ppl!!!!!!  
  
I'll start on my other story again cuz at the moment it needs rewriting.  
  
Veggie luver 


End file.
